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Recently, I discovered that my husband has been using adult chat rooms online and seems to have been communicating in sexually explicit ways with other people.

When I challenged him, he was embarrassed and then defensive saying it was just harmless flirting and that he had not gone over any line.

You might benefit from going to counselling especially if you feel traumatised and need to the help of an impartial listener to process some of the feelings.

To move forward, it is important that you continue to talk to your husband and try to understand the extent of his difficulties and what the underlying issues are for him.

wiki How's Content Management Team carefully monitors the work from our editorial staff to ensure that each article meets our high quality standards. Chatrooms are a fun place to engage in discussion about a variety of topics.

Real intimacy is created in everyday communication, in the nitty-gritty of sharing a life together and in the hard work of resolving conflicts and accepting the other person as different to you.

At the heart of the problem of online “infidelity” is the fact that it is usually done in secret and without the partner’s knowledge – even with infrequent access this secrecy can reduce the intimacy between the couple and can be a first step on the road to bigger betrayals.

A second issue for a marriage is that one partner turns to the internet for flirting and sexual excitement rather than to their partner.

Though it may be painful, the fact that you have started talking about issues is a good sign.

To continue with this process you may wish to seek marriage counselling ( relationshipsireland.com, accord.ie).

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