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Sure enough, she made some comments, to which my son calmly replied that if she was not polite to his beloved, she would not be invited to the wedding.My mother was furious, and my son ended up having a destination wedding to avoid the drama.I think my husband suspects we get along a little too well. Nothing physical has happened between Josh and me, but a few “moments” strongly suggest that the feelings are returned.

If she makes a pass or offers an explicit suggestion, you shut her down: “Madeline, I have no romantic interest in you.But if the old country was so great, what are the parents doing in the new country? You tell them if their main goal in life was your finding a traditional Chinese husband, they made a huge error by raising you in the United States.You explain this diverse society has—to your delight—brought your way a wonderful young man whom you love. A couple years ago my now ex-boyfriend loaned me a large amount of money when I was in a tight spot.Though we see my son and DIL regularly, he has not spoken to his grandmother since. My mother will not promise to hold her tongue about my DIL’s “horrid fat.” In desperation, I at one point offered to pay for a personal trainer or even gastric bypass, but that only led to a huge argument with my son. I would love to have one final family gathering with every member in attendance, but my son will not attend without his wife, and he will not bring her if it means she will be subjected to unkind comments.I can’t persuade my mother to change her ways, but is there something I could say to my son to convince him to suck it up this once for the sake of family harmony and good memories?

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