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The Devaluation Stage The Over-Evaluation phase, if you’re dealing with a Somatic Narcissist, usually lasts anywhere from a few weeks to a couple of months, just long enough for the Narcissist to be confident that they have secured their target’s love and devotion.
Unbeknownst to the target, what they were witnessing in the early phase was the Narcissist’s false self.
They do not feel love and they lack the ability to connect and form normal attachment bonds with others. Because their entire sense of self-esteem and self-worth is dependent on the admiration of others, their emotions are a precarious balance of needing others and needing to be left alone. This void is ever present and the only thing that fills it, is the love and esteem of another. A Narcissist describes it this way, “It’s like my brain is constantly seeking something.
It’s like I’m always chasing a carrot at the end of a stick. I feel like I only do things because I’m supposed to, because society does it.
People usually get into relationships for love and the need to connect and bond with another.
Narcissists get into relationships for entirely different reasons.
A relationship with a Narcissist always follows three phases, the over-evaluations phase, the devaluation phase and the discard phase.
The Over-evaluation Phase A Narcissist is very careful when choosing a target.
What they don’t know, or could ever be prepared for, is what comes next.
As the Narcissist withdraws, the target starts to cling and your demands for his attention and your need to understand what’s happening, grate on his nerves.
The harder you cling the more the Narcissist pulls away.
They become moody and agitated easily, blaming you for even the slightest transgression.
They start to disappear more frequently and they give you the silent treatment in an attempt to create distance.