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The first rule of what he calls Guyland's culture of silence is that "you can express no fears, no doubts, no vulnerabilities." Sure, feminism appears to be all the rage on campus, but many self-identified feminists — myself included — equate liberation with the freedom to act "masculine" (not being oversensitive or appearing thin-skinned).

Lisa Wade, Ph D, a professor of sociology at Occidental College who studies gender roles in college dating, explains that we're now seeing a hookup culture in which young people exhibit a preference for behaviors coded .

Her data showed that 61 percent of men hoped a hookup would turn into something more and 68 percent of women hoped for more — almost the same!

We're all trying so hard not to care, and nobody's benefiting.

Who Has The When it comes to college dating today, guys seem to be in a position of power, calling the shots on sex and romance — partly because they're especially good at playing the who-ever-cares-less game and partly because of the male-dominated places women go to meet straight guys on campus.

At Harvard, these are the eight all-male social groups called final clubs.

This creates a sense of competition, making it so that women often go further sexually than they're comfortable with because, you know, 'He could've had anyone.'" My friends on other campuses around the country, especially ones where women outnumber men, agree that guys seem to hold the dating power.

And even the brightest, most ambitious college women are permitting them to dominate the sexual culture.

But today, with everyone texting with emoji and navigating an increasingly fluid sexuality, it can seem almost impossible. I am sitting in my dorm, having just applied Sally Hansen leopard-print press-on nails and wearing a chiffon dress from Forever 21 that my sister told me "looks really expensive." I am waiting to hear from a nerdy but cute guy I'll call Nate*, whom I know from class. " that millennials are "a generation confused about how to land a boyfriend or girlfriend." Williams is not the only one thinking about millennials and our potentially hopeless futures for finding love.Final clubs give their exclusive list of male members a sweet pad where they can hang out, study, smoke cigars, eat prosciutto and melon after class, and pregame with top-shelf liquor.But more important, they are known on campus as places where people party on the weekend.We all know it: When the person you hooked up with the night before walks toward you in the dining hall, you try not to look excited... When it comes to dating, it always feels like the person who cares less ends up winning.When I asked my friend Alix, 22, also a recent Harvard grad, what the biggest struggle of college dating was for her, she didn't hesitate before saying: "I am terrified of getting emotionally overinvested when I'm seeing a guy.

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