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You need and want proof (formal validation), reassurance of some kind.

Yet you are with a man who has told you he doesn't talk about his feelings.

I just dont like the fact that the set up is practically no-strings attached for him.

I mean, since he has declared that he cant make a commitment until he gets his working life back on track, I feel stuck as to what I can ask for while he spends time at my place.

He doesn't work and doesn't offer to help you out around your house in which he stays all the time.

You are walking on egg shells around him and his recovery instead of being real and honest with him and yourself.

Take away the booze and it could have been me talking to a room full of people. I made an appointment with a counsellor and halfway into our session, she asked me to read the twelve characteristics of Adult Children of Alcoholics. I was bowled over by the revelation and none too happy about it. No one in my immediate family suffered from alcoholism, but the atmosphere in my house sure felt like something was wrong. My boyfriend is always at my house and I mean always! Ive forced the issue and he claims that his actions should speak louder than words, but that just doesnt cut it for me. I dont know if I can stay with someone who only once in a blue moon thinks about my feelings.honey, you can't "fix" him, and you can't go around worrying about what he can/can't handle, esp. you need need need need to take care of yourself and establish some boundaries. and i trust the goodness of the universe to place good things in my path, and one day i will be well enough, whole, and i will do better next time. and you do not owe hurting yourself to your bf so that his feelings won't be hurt.he is not working his program if he is making you feel like you are responsible for his recovery in ANY way. ask yourself why its so important to you to cling to someone in your life, esp. but even without the alcohol, i would be a dry drunk, because it is all about the way that i think. he needs to work his program, you can't work it for him.he is this little triangle that hobbles along looking for a place to fit in.it didn't matter where he would place himself it just wasn't right. Unfortunately, I have this fantasy in my head that someday I tell him all my fears, insecurities and needs and then he reciprocates.

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